91ÉçÇø

20:1 Bystander Program for Students
Written by Dara Raboy-Picciano, LCSW-R &
Randall Edouard, MSEd

This program is based on the Third Tier of the original 20:1 Sexual Assault Prevention Program (The Bystander-Based Program) which is designed to get fraternity men more socially aware and willing to act to protect others. This tier emerged from comments of participants who felt they had become more aware of the problem of sexual assault and prevention, but wanted to learn how to be more helpful and learn about what to do when they witnessed behaviors that required intervention. Initially, this was not the focus of 20:1 as the primary objective was to help students understand sexual assault and consent through increasing victim empathy and to be able to utilize consent in practical application. As the campus community has increasingly embraced the 20:1 program, it has become possible and necessary to add this next step. In focus groups with both fraternity men and male athletes, men consistently stated they had witnessed behaviors that they felt were leading towards sexual assaults, but were not taught the intervention tools by the University. Male groups embraced the opportunity to learn a healthy way to intervene on behalf of others in order to prevent sexual violence.

The 20:1 Bystander Program for Students is a sister program to the original 20:1 Sexual Assault Program and derives from the Third Tier: The Bystander Program. 20:1 acknowledges the wide range of areas of interpersonal violence that is prevalent on campuses, and as a result, this program expands beyond sexual assault prevention, offering education on a variety of topics around interpersonal violence prevention.

Outline

I. Pre-Survey

II. Introduction to 20:1

III. Disclaimer

IV. Discussion: What does it mean to be a bystander? (Give personal example of own struggle of being a bystander)

V. Introduce and Play the "Victim Empathy Exercise"

VI. Introduce and Play the "Bystander Group Activity"

VII. Conclusion

VIII. Questions, Comments and Discussion

IX. Post-Survey

*Aspects/Excerpts from Banyard's "Bringing in the Bystander"

Introduce the program:

Handout Pre-Survey

"Thank you for having us; we are the 20:1 Bystander Program for Students. We are a sister program to the 20:1 Sexual Assault Prevention Program. You may wonder what 20:1 stands for. We will explain that later in the program."

• We are not here to blame men or to preach to you. In fact as sorority women, fraternity men, Athletes, ROTC, etc. we are here to talk to you about your role as leaders on this campus. In that leaders role or as emerging leaders other students look to you as an example of good character, someone to turn to in need, and someone who is a role model. It is because of your affiliation with this group that we come to you with the hope that you will take this message on and be leaders in your communities in the fight against sexual assault.

"Please Like us on Facebook at: 20:1 Bystander Intervention Program, and Follow us on twitter @20to1prevent."

Disclaimer

• "Some Parts of this presentation can be graphic. You may know someone that is a survivor of any of the scenarios that we will discuss including sexual assault. If at any point you feel uncomfortable, please feel free to step outside for a moment."
• "If anyone would like to speak further about the subject in a private manner, please call one of our community resources – we will provide you that information in a few minutes."
• 91ÉçÇø prohibits the crimes of dating violence, domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking.
• Under New York State's Amnesty policy: "Bystanders or victims that report, in good faith, any incident of sexual assault, domestic
• violence, dating violence, and stalking, will not be charged with an alcohol or drug use violation of the institution's code of conduct."
• IVP Powerpoint Slide -- If you would like any information about the following topics including campus policy about reporting crimes, please refer to the IVP website, 91ÉçÇø.edu/IVP

"We are here to talk about Bystander Behavior."

"Does anyone know what we mean by Bystander Behavior or what a Bystander is?"

Discuss what it means to be a Bystander.

Give an example of a time you struggled with Bystander Behavior.

Introduce and Play the Victim Empathy Exercise

"We're going to start out with an exercise. I'm going to pass out a piece of paper and then explain."
Hand out a piece of paper to each person in the audience.

"Now tear your piece of paper into 4 strips and number the strips 1 to 4. We want you to know up front that you do not have to share what you write on the paper with the group."

1. Ask them to write the following (Tell audience not to share what is written on the paper):
Paper 1: The person you trust the most
Paper 2: A place where you feel the safest
Paper 3: A favorite hang out spot
Paper 4: A secret

2. Paper 1: The person you trust the most (Have a presenter ready to write on board).
"Look at your paper numbered 1; what do you like about this person? What do you enjoy? Why do you feel close to them?" (Write what they say on the board.) "Now I want you tear up that piece of paper up and throw it away. You can no longer talk to or be with that person because they either blame you for the sexual assault or they are the one who assaulted you."

Ask how they feel now and write reactions on the board.

3. Paper 2: A place where you feel the safest (Have a presenter ready to write on board).

"Look at your paper numbered 2; what do you like about this place? Why do you feel safe there?" (Write what they say on the board.) "Now I want you tear up that piece of paper up and throw it away. You no longer feel comfortable going to that place because you were assaulted there."

Ask how they feel now and write reactions on the board.

4. Paper 3: A favorite hang out spot (Have a presenter ready to write on board).

"Look at your paper numbered 3; why do you like to hang out there? Why is it your favorite spot? (Write reactions on the board.) "Now I want you tear up that piece of paper up and throw it away. You can no longer go there because you might see your perpetrator there."

Ask how they feel now and write the answers on the board.

5. Paper 4: A secret (Have a presenter ready to write on board).
"Now take a look at your paper numbered 4: Your secret. Do not share the secret. Why is it a secret? Why don't you want people to know? (Write their reactions on the board.) "This time, you cannot tear up the piece of paper. You cannot throw it away. You must keep it forever. Think about what people might say to you if they knew. Think about what they might do if they knew. Now think about telling a stranger, maybe an officer, a boss or a co-worker. (Write reactions on the board.)

"Take a moment and think about what it must feel like to be a survivor of sexual assault or other violent crimes."

Ask how they feel now and write the answers on the board.

Finally, imagine that you have the power to prevent yourself and others from experiencing the negative feelings we discussed. Stepping in as a bystander may prevent or minimize others from experiencing *examples on board*. We're going to do an activity to get you in the mindset of being a bystander,
but first we're going to lighten up the mood with a video.
Give Introduction 91ÉçÇø the "20:1 Code - Stepping up Against the Ass Grab" video and then Play Video.

• Ask any questions or comments about the vide

Introduce and Play "The Bystander Group Activity" (Written By 20:1/91ÉçÇø)
Purpose of Exercise:

Ï– To allow the exploration of bystander intervention through the use of realistic scenarios

Ï– Explore and challenge different perspectives, biases related specifically to sexual assault as well as bystander intervention in general

Ï– Encourage behavior change/intervention through discussion/real life scenarios
How Activity Works:

Ï– Form groups of four or five

Ï– Read scenario

Ï– Each group will discuss how they would respond if they were in the situation and come up with group answer

Ï– Each group shares their response with reason for answer

Ï– Group answers are written on handout provided to groups Role of Facilitators:

Ï– Facilitators have list of possible bystander intervention for discussion

Ï– Discuss talking points: what makes intervening more likely, under what conditions, why, who, what, where

Ï– Facilitators observe group interaction and write down other responses not given as group answer; ask group why these interventions were not offered
Ï– After each scenario the winning group receives a small prize and then the facilitators move on to the next scenario (If played as a game).

Menu of Scenarios:

Sexual Assault/Harassment

1) You are at a party. You see a guy pushing up on a girl, trying to dance with her. She looks uncomfortable -- trying to get away from him, but he persists. What do you do?

2) You are at a bar when it closes and while waiting for a cab, your roommate is talking to a woman who is clearly slurring her words and swaying back and forth. He tells you that he wants the room for the night for himself and his "new" friend. What do you do?

3) You are working out at the gym and this guy is always there hitting on women. On this one occasion you notice he is taking a picture of a girl's butt with his cell phone while she is working out on the treadmill. What do you do?

4) You are walking down State Street with your friends after the bars close. You see two guys holding up a girl between their arms. You notice her feet are dragging on the ground as they walk down the street. What do you do?

Domestic Violence/Stalking:

5) You are in the hallway of your Residence Hall. You hear arguing in the stairwell. You hear a female voice say: "leave me alone; I just want to go home". You hear a loud bang and more arguing. What do you do?

6) Your friend tells you that he just wants to be friends with his ex- girlfriend. He has been calling her and texting her everyday and she has not been responding. He told you that he passes by her classes hoping to talk to her, but that hasn't worked. He says that he is going to message her on Facebook and wait for her after her sorority meetings. What do you do?

Bullying/Hate Crimes

7) In the dining hall, a guy is eating his lunch. Three students start laughing at him - asking him where he bought his "gay" clothes. They then start throwing pieces of food at him - calling him "gay boy". What do you do?

8) You are with a group of friends from your floor in your Residence Hall when one of your floor mates says: "Somebody stole my Iphone; I think it was that black kid from G2...He's the only black kid on the floor and you know how those ghetto black kids are!" What do you do?

9) You are with a group of friends and one of them is talking about saving money when another friend blurts out: "you are such a Jew!" Some of the friends start laughing -- some are quiet. What do you do?

Hazing:
Concerning Student Behavior:

Discussion Points for Facilitators:

Process of Being a Good Bystander

Something out of the ordinary is happening. You might hear or see that someone is in danger. Or you might notice that one of your friends is crossing boundaries in a relationship or one of your friends is in a relationship where someone is stepping over the line.

2) Determine that there is a problem
Assess the situation. Any reasonable person would assess this to be a problem.

3) Understanding Yourself as a Bystander
Whether or not a person intervenes is influenced by personal factors. This can range from ingrained personal attitudes or biases, past experiences, or a quick assessment of the current situation. Here are some examples of how these things come into bystander decision making. This awareness about yourself can help you make a different decision in the future.

Ï– Age: Is the person old/young?
Ï– Appearance: Is the person good looking, friendly, "slutty", scary looking, dangerous?
Ï– Past Experience: Have you been in a similar situation and what happened?
Ï– Gender: Are you more likely to help a man or woman? Are you more likely to be intimidated by one or the other?
Ï– Support: Are you alone? Is there strength in numbers? What if your guys say you are over reacting?
Ï– Setting: Time of day? Is it in your fraternity house? A bar downtown? A different fraternity house?
Ï– Time: Is it late? Are you in a hurry?
Ï– Risk: May get hurt. Not supported by brothers/others. Alone.
Ï– Physical Condition: Are you capable?
Ï– Personality: Morality? Ethics? Empathy? Compassion?

4) Decision Making:

Ï– Think about safety
Ï– Think about options
Ï– Being a good bystander doesn't mean being a Super Hero

5) Taking Action and Understanding How to Help

Ï– Call 911
Ï– Call other authorities
Ï– Distract situation safely
Ï– Say Something, Do Something, Intervene

6) Processing the situation
Think about how you handled the situation. Did it work out well? Was everybody safe? Were there things you could have or would have done differently?

Questions, Comments, Discussion

"After working through these scenarios today, do you think you would intervene as a bystander any differently?"

After Game, Give Introduction 91ÉçÇø the "20:1 Code – Chivalry IS Dead" video and then Play Video.

• Ask any questions or comments about the video.

Conclusion:

Ï– REMEMBER: AS (sorority, Athletes, ROTC, etc.) you are leaders on this campus. Other students look to you as an example of good character, someone to turn to in need, and someone who is a role model. It is because of your affiliation with this group that we come to you with the hope that you will take this message on and be leaders in your communities in the fight against sexual assaul

(Ask audience what they think 20:1 means. Discuss.)

"Our program name 'twenty to one' represents a national statistic. Approximately 20 women are sexually assaulted every hour. "Unfortunately the most recent numbers are even higher than when this program was formed in 2004. Today the number is actually closer to 23 or 24 per hour."

"In the hour or so that we have been presenting to you, approximately 24-25 women have been sexually assaulted"

"So... Make sure you: (Show the Backs of Your Shirts) Say Something, Do Something, Intervene!"

Handout Post-Survey